Kim and Danny Morrison on Money and Marriage
Cricket legend Danny Morrison reveals his marriage, money and misery overhaul
Financial stress can be a marriage killer – but it can also be the making of a strong relationship. Danny Morrison, a former New Zealand cricketer and current cricket commentator, and wife Kim, an author, wellness mentor and owner of aromatherapy company Twenty8, had a series of money losses that nearly ended their marriage. On the Wealth Faculty Podcast, they speak frankly about the struggles they faced and how they eventually found happiness in themselves and each other again.
Kim and Danny Morrison know just how easily money can make or break a marriage.
Danny, a former New Zealand cricketer, and Kim, a former ultra-marathon runner – turned business owner, were the quintessential Kiwi poster couple in the 90’s and early 2000’s.
But a series of personal challenges and financial hardships put the couple’s relationship under serious threat.
“We had a great marriage. People would comment on us. We’re on covers of magazines…and it was real, it wasn’t pretend. So, when it all came crumbling down, I just didn’t know where to go,” Kim reveals.
It’s no wonder Kim was stressed. After a property development deal went bad, the couple invested the last of their savings in a financial institution that went bust, leaving the pair feeling broken and at their lowest point.
While giving up was the easier option, Kim and Danny managed to work through their myriad of financial woes. Now, they share the lessons from their harrowing time, and how other couples can also rise above the most testing of circumstances.
DON’T TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE FOR GRANTED
At the peak of Danny’s career, he and Kim were fortunate to experience a lot of joys in life – particularly travel.
“We were staying in these five-star hotels, playing sport, and felt so loved by people,” Kim says.
“But one thing Danny always said whenever we were traveling was – ‘I know one day this will come to an end.’”
And so, they made it a point to never take what they had for granted. This ongoing attitude, which they still hold, allowed them to adapt when Danny was suddenly let go from his position on the national cricket team.
Danny says agility was key.
Having the right attitude and mindset means you will be more open to new opportunities that come your way, instead of staying emotionally and mentally attached to what could have been.
THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY
After any kind of fall it can be embarrassing to ask for help getting back up.
After moving to Australia in 2006, Danny and Kim’s finances started to implode. An unknowingly expensive property development on a new home in New Zealand saw them lose the house. They ended up putting all their remaining money into a financial institution – three months later it had collapsed.
As they reached rock bottom, they knew the only way up was seeking out support.
Kim says instead of hiding or feeling embarrassed by their situation, they sought help.
“Sometimes in the power of vulnerability, it’s amazing what happens,” she says.
GIVE IT FOUR SEASONS BEFORE MAKING ANY BIG DECISIONS
A therapist once said, “You must give it four seasons, before you make any decisions”.
Those were the words that stuck with Kim and Danny as they turned to marriage counselling.
The advice was based around the idea that our energy and behaviours change throughout the seasons. Some of us thrive in Autumn, while others have a clearer mindset in Summer. With each season brings new clarity.
Instead of the added pressure that comes with imposing a time frame like ‘six months’ – Kim and Danny committed to just living through four seasons before making a decision on their relationship.
“It wasn’t easy,” Kim says,
“I was trying to launch my business and now we had no money…I remember looking at Danny and wanting to blame him for everything. But rather than thinking I’ve got no resources, there was a switch that flicked in me that went, how do I become resourceful?”
Seeing through all four seasons together ultimately led them through one of their hardest years as a couple. But they got through it.
FIND WHAT KEEPS YOU GOING
We’ve all had those moments where we ask ourselves, why should I do it? Well, the better question is, who else do you need to do this for?
For a lot of us, we have other people relying on us to be available and present. Whether that’s a spouse, employees or co-workers, or your kids. Our responsibility to others in our lives is a powerful driving force.
For Kim, it was hearing that her kids were looking to her and Danny for guidance that served as an epiphany for her.
“Your job isn’t to tell your kids everything,” she realised.
“Your job is to show them how to get through tough times.”
We all have people that are counting on us in some way or another. When overcoming challenges, don’t let the responsibility of that reliance crush you, but let it inspire you to keep going.
CHALLENGES HAPPEN FOR YOU, NOT TO YOU
The best piece of advice Danny and Kim took on? Challenges happen for you, not to you.
“Wake up every day and say you’re living your best life, even if it’s the worst time of your life, knowing that on the other side of a challenge is growth,” Kim says.
The comeback story is more defining than the challenge itself.
When it comes to re-establishing your finances, put clear steps in place.
Begin to build wealth around you again – not the monetary kind – but the kind that’s rooted in your relationships and health, and you’ll see the money seamlessly become a part of that.
“Ultimately the first and most important thing is a wealthy, healthy relationship with self, which ripples through to your partner, your family, your friends and your community,” Kim says.
If anyone is a testament to this, it’s Kim and Danny. From financial tatters to their marriage on the brink of no return, the pair have proven that nothing is impossible if you’re willing to give it everything.
By Jason Whitton
Group CEO Positive Real Estate
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